I admit it–I love reality TV. I especially cannot get enough of Bravo’s shows. From the Real Housewives (all cities) to Million Dollar Listing, I am obsessed. In the midst of my regularly-scheduled DVR session, I happened upon a new show about three beautiful, talented dating gurus, called Missed Advised. The most recent episode touched briefly on an issue that most people watching were likely to barely notice or dismiss completely. For military spouses, however, one of the “dating gurus” brought up a very important point about military relationships.

In the most recent episode, Julia Allison deals with backlash over controversy surrounding her past relationship with Navy helicopter pilot, Jack McCain (yes, John McCain’s son). Whatever the truth surrounding the details of Allison and McCain’s relationship, I was struck more by what the celebreality star said about becoming a military wife than the rumor mill.Career-minded and ambitious, Allison emotionally shared that the reason she and McCain called it quits was due to her belief that she could not follow her own dreams while McCain followed the military’s demands.  This statement stuck with me, as I once also had to weigh the possibility that I might have to forgo a successful career if I married a soldier.

It was a decision that could have led me down a very different path.


There is no doubt that Allison certainly had a lot to lose if the military life didn’t allow for her successful career to continue growing. To name just a few accomplishments, she has been a(n):

  • Columnist for amNewYork
  • Editor-at-large for Star magazine
  • Freelance writer for Cosmopolitan and Men’s Health
  • Guest commentator on MSNBC, Fox News, plus Headline News, CNN, and MTV

The show portrays each of the women stars as professionally successful, well-dressed, and established–perhaps a little quirky too; yet, their romantic lives seem to be in utter disarray. In fact, the show’s entire premise is based on three wildly successful “relationship experts” who can’t seem to practice what they preach.

The show, and Julia Allison’s briefly highlighted struggle with her own military relationship, makes me wonder what my fellow military spouses think. Does the military lifestyle limit, or perhaps altogether eliminate, our ability to do what we really want in our careers? Can anyone really have a wildly successful career anda great relationship…especially when married to a service member?

I have found that it is possible, but it is much more difficult than in the civilian world. I guess in this one respect, I am lucky I’m stubborn!

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